The Inner
-Spiral-

"Every question you ask pulls you closer to the center of who you are."

Random Thoughts
Insights Table
"Always living within your means is a paradox."
"Always living within your means is a paradox—because we keep moving the line."

The paradox of "living within your means" lies in how we constantly adjust our perception of what those "means" are. As income grows, so do expenses. The lifestyle inflation, driven by societal pressures and the belief that material upgrades bring happiness, traps us in a cycle of working harder to afford more—without finding true fulfillment.

Example: A young professional lands a better-paying job and immediately upgrades to a larger apartment and a new car. A year later, despite earning significantly more, they feel no wealthier or happier.
How to Break the Cycle:
  • Define True Needs vs. Wants: Question whether upgrades truly improve your life.
  • Adopt the "Enough" Mindset: Ask yourself: “What is enough for me?”
  • Invest in Experiences, Not Things: Experiences bring lasting happiness.
  • Save Before You Spend: Prioritize saving and investing.
  • Resist the "I Deserve It" Mentality: Find ways to reward yourself without financial strain.
  • Focus on Long-Term Goals: Build security and freedom for the future.
Reflection: True wealth isn’t found in material upgrades; it’s found in contentment, financial freedom, and living intentionally.
"Love everyone as if they are you, but don’t judge them by the standards you hold for yourself."
"Love everyone as if they are you, but don’t judge them by the standards you hold for yourself."

We often reserve our harshest words for those we love most. Why? Because we see them as extensions of ourselves, holding them to high expectations. Meanwhile, we extend patience to strangers, expecting little from them and therefore feeling little disappointment. This dynamic can damage relationships.

Example: A parent, frustrated with their child’s poor grades, scolds them harshly. The criticism creates a rift, making the child feel unloved and inadequate.
How to Balance Love and Expectation:
  • Separate Love from Expectations: Appreciate people for who they are, not who you want them to be.
  • Speak with Kindness: Offer constructive feedback without harsh criticism.
  • Treat Strangers and Loved Ones Equally: Extend patience to loved ones.
  • Recognize the Impact of Your Words: Your words carry more weight with loved ones.
  • Hold Compassion: Extend forgiveness to others and to yourself.
Reflection: Loving someone means supporting their growth without tying it to your expectations.
"To suffer and realize it’s your own doing is to stand at the gates of hell you built."
"To suffer and realize it’s your own doing is to stand at the gates of hell you built."

This phrase reflects the profound torment of recognizing that your pain stems not from external forces, but from your own choices, actions, or mindset. Unlike suffering caused by uncontrollable circumstances, self-inflicted suffering carries an added layer of guilt, shame, and frustration—trapping you in a cycle of regret and self-condemnation.

Example: Imagine someone who has been consistently unkind to their closest friends, pushing them away over time. Eventually, they find themselves lonely, yearning for the relationships they once had. When they realize their suffering is not because of something random or unavoidable but a direct result of their behavior, the weight of that knowledge becomes unbearable.
Ways to Prevent or Alleviate Self-Inflicted Suffering:
  • Cultivate Self-Awareness: Practice mindfulness and regularly reflect on your actions and choices. Ask yourself if what you’re doing aligns with your values and goals.
  • Take Responsibility Early: Acknowledge mistakes as soon as you notice them. Owning up to your actions early can prevent deeper pain later.
  • Practice Forgiveness—Toward Yourself: Accept that everyone makes mistakes and focus on what you can do to improve rather than dwelling on guilt.
  • Build Better Habits: Replace destructive tendencies with constructive ones. This proactive approach minimizes the chance of creating situations you'll regret.
  • Seek Help When Needed: Sometimes, breaking free from cycles of self-inflicted suffering requires outside perspective. A trusted friend, mentor, or therapist can help.
  • Focus on Growth Over Perfection: Accept that imperfection is a part of being human. Learn from your mistakes without letting them define you.
Reflection: The recognition that your suffering is self-inflicted can feel like hell because it forces you to face the consequences of your autonomy. But this realization is also an opportunity for growth. Once you acknowledge that you’ve built your own “hell,” you also realize you have the power to dismantle it and build something better..